In any autumn day come to the world. And almost before they are born again you find yourself struggling between life and death ... the lot is stingy, she stopped at the gates when you were born but you do not you blame her, though not everything went as it should . Indelible mark on your body, a life on the "wheels". So many things you lack, not being able to feel the sand beneath your feet, not being able to touch and feel the grass a little tickle ... Yet there you are in the midst of so many with a smile. You many glances and endless bullying and you have a little fear, you would like to live a life half-hidden. Do not be ashamed of your problems because they are just more obvious than those of a normal person but in the end where is the difference? You at least do not hide behind lies or behind a mirror, but you have the courage to show you the way you are ... yourself. Feels "lucky" even though it is now difficult to understand, but you feel lucky to be born this way because God made you a great gift, the ability to understand those who suffer like you, you appreciate things that maybe if I was normal you would not even notice. Your mom when you walk down the street keeps repeating "look at you because you're beautiful." Later, watching you grow up and understand why you consider different, although the idea that you watch because you were beautiful smile she had always done. Now you space and force you into a world traumatized by the existence of a disabled person ... life is a struggle, your "second birth" will be the most difficult. ... For some time after
We're doing a tour at the Duomo volunteers. I push my own wheelchair. I brought the manual because the electricity had low battery, I know it has happened that is low while I was out with the association and is not the best. I always very much afraid of being left behind but can push the wheelchair alone is important for me. My other companions because they push themselves fail. I admire the Duomo, how nice. Today is Saturday and the center is full of people. This thing scares me. In fact here is that we spend close to a lady and stares at me ... I do not like it when you stare at me like that. Who knows what they think, oh God I'm shaking! I have to stay calm, no no no I can not. That continues to look at me, I would like to believe that it is only because I got something out of place but it is not so, fixing my legs cramped and small. But what must be thinking? Poor boy can not walk or be thinking how my mom is reduced? Well neither of these ideas I like, I do not think so. Oh just go by! No one here is looking at me, shit! I can not even speak I can not, my mouth does not coordinate the movements. If you started to say something like, "Excuse me for staring at me? "Sounds that would come out would just be a series of" sssssss "bumpy, so forget it. I was born so it is not my fault. I suffer from spastic tetra paresis. It is as if, for me my body ends at the hips. Then? I do not know what comes after. I do not feel anything. I see the legs but I can not say to let my lest they feel. Yet they are attached to my body, but I did not already own serve for nothing but to attract people's attention. Maybe if I put on display in a museum becomes rich. The people pass you stop and look with great interest and I earn a living.
Let's get real ... we're walking .... O nooooo! I knew it. Here I am stuck with the rear wheels in a manhole! And now? Will find that they are no longer with you? I can not ask for help, my mouth does not listen to me. I move my hands hoping that one of the volunteers laps but ... nothing! After five minutes, finally a girl voluntarily go back and help me, I'm safe, unless you just this once. Ooops
another problem, I lose my pee. No, I can now. I can not force them to stop for me and accompany me to the bathroom. Hold on patience. After an hour's walk downtown, we stopped in a bar snack. Everybody has fun. Not me, I'm tired and depressed. That lady staring at me threw me down in the dumps. I wish I could shout to the world what I feel inside, to tell people that in this sick body is a nice guy who would have a lot to say, he would like to talk but fails because the shell of my soul is bad but 'soul, she thinks very well. They are only nice to look at? No, maybe not even that.
Luke comes up and asks me what I say I want to drink a Coke with him but his face from boiled fish says
"Huh?? I do not understand, please say it better. "I repeat
" Coca-cola "but I bet you did not understand. In fact did not understand. I said, coca-cola are convinced that it is right, but surely he will come this sound "CCCCC" but could also get there by himself right? I repeat again, I try to pronounce it right "COCA-COLA" maybe ... got off with his stupid face I said "No I did not understand, I'm sorry, we call another volunteer, I do not understand are a bit 'stupid! "
... It is certain, but say it's me who are handicapped and can not express myself instead of giving you so stupid that I do not think that you do not just make me sick. Dancing enormous. I just did not know you make me understand that it is useless to try to remedy that you are saying you do not understand .. I am, I am alone with myself. As long as the thoughts are in me are sharp, clear but just try to take them out through my body become meaningless movements and sounds similar to those of a child for one year. And then you are really alone. Only I understand.
Meanwhile, I'm angry, I take a napkin and a pen and write COCA COLA. Now he understood. Well this time I will not die of thirst. And now ? Same story for something to eat? Never mind, I do not eat. Too difficult to explain what I want. I would like a croissant. How do I? By giving up. I'll eat at home. My mother will certainly have prepared a nice snack. Now we leave. O
cabbage I have to pee. A nightmare. How do I apply? Waving their hands. Alessia sees me. Approaches say, "pip-i" ... understood. Finally someone has understood. Lead me. After 15 minutes I'm done. The other young disabled people are nervous because I slowed the start. Always my fault. Next time I will not come so I will not be a burden to others. Let's go back to the machines. I loaded the van. How I have defined in this way? I strive to think that they do because they are beautiful ... a bale biggest I could not tell! No they do because they are handicapped and they are normal. I am handicapped and they are normal ... I am handicapped and they are normal ... I repeat these things to myself. I am handicapped and they are normal, I am handicapped and they are normal ... normal ... normal ... I fall asleep.
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